How to Live a Life of Grit and Grace With Amberly Lago, Speaker, Author and Podcaster

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About The Guest

Amberly Lago is a best-selling author, speaker, podcast host, and health coach. She started her speaking career after her life was deeply altered, and her world was completely changed in May 2010. While riding her motorcycle in Woodland Hills, CA, she was hit by an SUV and thrown thirty feet down a busy street. Her right leg took the brunt of the impact and was crushed almost beyond repair.

Amberly’s life story of astounding resilience has inspired a revolutionary lesson she offers to the world. She brings unique strategies developed to teach others how to tap into their superpower of resilience and persevere through any challenge. Her keynote speeches, best-selling book, workshops, and podcasts offer hope and solutions for living life at its fullest to those in chronic pain (like her) and those who find themselves struggling against any obstacle.

Talking Points

  • 11:39 — Having your life completely disrupted.
  • 18:59 — Resetting your mind after major trauma.
  • 21:31 — Struggling with substances to numb the pain.
  • 23:47 — Asking for help.
  • 34:16 — Movement and mental health.
  • 40:17 — Being your own cheerleader.
  • 45:28 — Tools & tips for a resilient mindset.
  • 49:14 — The power of community.

Show Links

Podcast & Newsletter Sponsors

1. Hubspot Podcast Network

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4. Faherty Brand — Modern Clothing

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What is the Success Story Podcast?

On this podcast, you’ll find interviews, Q&A, keynote presentations & conversations on sales, marketing, business, startups and entrepreneurship.

The podcast is hosted by entrepreneur, business executive, author, educator & speaker, Scott D. Clary.

Scott will discuss some of the lessons he’s learned over his own career, as well as have candid interviews with execs, celebrities, notable figures and politicians. All who have achieved success through both wins and losses, to learn more about their life, their ideas and insights.

He sits down with leaders and mentors and unpacks their story to help pass those lessons onto others through both experiences and tactical strategy for business professionals, entrepreneurs and everyone in between.

Website: https://www.scottdclary.com

Podcast: https://www.successstorypodcast.com

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/scottdclary

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/scottdclary

Twitter: https://twitter.com/scottdclary

Facebook: https://facebook.com/scottdclarypage

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/scottdclary

Machine Generated Transcript

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

people, life, hubspot, learned, podcast, pain, important, thought, business, ring, taught, easy, day, direct mail, book, grit, speak, set, leg, feel

SPEAKERS

Amberly Lago, Scott D Clary

 

Scott D Clary  00:00

Welcome to success story, the most useful podcast in the world. I’m your host Scott D. Clary. The success story podcast is part of the HubSpot Podcast Network. The HubSpot Podcast Network is the audio destination for business professionals who seek the best education and inspiration on how to grow a business. HubSpot Podcast Network hosts act as on demand mentors to entrepreneurs, startups and scale ups through practical tips and inspirational stories. Listen, learn and grow with the HubSpot Podcast Network at hubspot.com/podcast Network. Today, my guest is Amberley Lago Amberley is a best selling author, keynote speaker, podcast host and health coach. Her speaking career started after her life was dramatically altered in a life defining accident when her legs were almost crushed beyond repair. Through her recovery process, she found a new voice. Being a former professional dancer, athlete fitness trainer, she was not only determined to save her leg, but her career, her dreams and her dignity. She has over 23 years of experience in fitness and wellness, yet this absolutely floored her. So we’re going to speak about her. Basically her event that changed her life, her recovery process, some of the things that she went through, she’s going to tell everyone on this show her story. And then she’s going to speak about some of the things that she learned from going through that so the tenacity, the perseverance, the grit that she had to embody. To get through this, she’s going to speak about some of these lessons that she’s learned and how they can apply to you. She has been featured on NBC today’s show the doctors Hallmark Good morning lala land, she’s contributed to a ton of magazines including shape health, disability magazine fit pregnancy, and she has keynoted globally. She also has a best selling book True Grit and grace, turning tragedy into triumph. And of course, she has her own podcast where she interviews incredible people to bring out these personality traits and habits that will sort of bring anybody to the next level regardless of what they’re trying to accomplish. So let’s get right into it. This is Amberley Lago.

 

Amberly Lago  02:10

Well, thank you so much for having me here. I’m excited to share some, hopefully some tips and tools that people can apply into their life on how to build resilience and grit and especially entrepreneurs, because that’s not always an easy thing to do. Yeah, you know, I, we were talking before we started recording, and I was saying how I’m out here in LA. But obviously, you can maybe tell a little bit by accent. I’m originally from Texas. But I always knew, like I started dancing when I was three. And I knew from a really young age, probably for as long as I can remember that. That’s what I wanted to do when I grew up was to be a dancer. And the place to do that was in Los Angeles. So I learned a lot of grit growing up, because I come from a family where we didn’t have much money. My parents divorced when I was young. There was a lot of things that happened that it was used to be really hard for me to talk about. But now through lots of therapy and lots of work around trauma. I’ve healed a lot of those parts, where I was sexually abused by my stepfather. And it really taught me that if I wanted to do something in life, if I really wanted more out of life, I had to be willing, I had to decide and commit. And I think a lot of those things have carried me through a lot of challenges in life. So I moved to LA when I was 18. I was a lifeguard and a dance teacher. And gosh, I babysat for a lot of different families and scrubbed toilets, whatever I could do, and I saved up $1,200 I packed up my little Suzuki samurai. And I think, you know, I’m so thankful I was naive because I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I remember sleeping in this hotel and the next morning well it was a motel in a really bad area to be beaten to be completely transparent. And I remember waking up the next day going what’s different about my car and the very first night I was in LA the tarp to my car was stolen and I was like Okay, so the first year I lived here, I didn’t have a tarp I drove around with a convertible and and I learned a lot. I learned very quickly that I was not a great dancer. I may have been a pretty good dancer for the small town. But going to LA where there was so many incredible dancers, I learned that if I wanted to succeed and have a career in dance that I was going to have to really work hard. And I think you know Angela Duckworth says that success is not necessarily about talent or title or money. It’s really about grit and so Thank goodness we can all work on ways to build grit. And those lessons that I learned as an athlete growing up as a dancer really prepared me for the most difficult moment in my life. So I had a successful career in dance. I had a successful career in the fitness industry, I was doing infomercials, I was sponsored by Nike, I was nationally recognized as a fitness coach. And I thought, wow, life is good. I’m living the California Dream. And everything changed in a blink of an eye. When I was coming home from work on my motorcycle, I was hit by an SUV. And I’m sliding down the interval of are down the asphalt. And I remember thinking, please, you know, couldn’t tell what I was sliding into. And I thought, please just don’t let another car hit me. And when I finally stopped, I looked down at my leg. And I only looked down at once because it was completely just broken into pieces. And there was blood everywhere. And I remember thinking one of my first thoughts was, oh, my gosh, I might have to train clients on crutches for a while, I had no idea how serious it was, I had no idea that my femoral artery was severed, that I was literally bleeding out on the street, thank goodness, I had a guy that came over right away, he made a tourniquet on my leg, he saved my life really. And paramedics got there, I was rushed to the hospital. And the hospital room was chaotic. Some of these moments that, you know, I’ve had people say to you remember the accent, I was like, I remember every single detail from the moment that I was hit from the moment that the nurse leaned over me and she said, we’re going to give you something to make you feel all better now. And that was the last thing I remember before they put me in induced coma. When I woke up out of a coma, the first thing I learned was, the doctor said, Well, we’re going to have to amputate, you have a 1% chance of saving your leg. It’s like a war wound. There’s nothing we can do for you. And I said, Well wait a minute, you just said I have a 1% chance. So there’s still a chance, I need to find a doctor who’s willing to take that chance of makes I want to save my leg. And it took a lot of grit it by the grace of God and some amazing doctors, 34 surgeries. months in the hospital the first time and then years of in and out of the hospital. And I had my last surgery about two years ago. But this journey has been an experience that has taught me a lot about things that I needed to heal things that I needed to unlearn. And it’s really taught me about the power of the human spirit. I was diagnosed with complex regional pain syndrome when I was released from the hospital and the pain just wasn’t getting better. And that took me down the Darkest Road. I think that you know, going Yes, going through a horrific accident like that was hard. But living with constant chronic pain every day has been my biggest teacher. And so I’d love to share some of the tools that I’ve learned about that, because I think we all have pain, whether it’s physical pain, emotional pain, especially during this last year and a half of COVID. We were talking about that before we started recording just how it’s changed so much of how we connect and how we work and how you know our relationships. And so that’s a little bit about my journey. And I’m amazed that it’s led me out, I want to pinch myself when I think that I have the opportunity to be here with you, and share with your audience because it’s truly a miracle. And I believe in miracles. And so it’s so important what we focus on. And that 1% chance has been the glimmer of hope that a lot of times I remind myself, but to keep me moving forward.

 

Scott D Clary  09:01

That’s an amazing, it’s obviously an amazing story. And I think that you have a lot of insight that you can teach and help people. You can help people because over the past year and a half, two years, there’s been various degrees of traumatic events, people’s lives, not to the same extent as yours, of course. But still, the status quo has been has been displaced. It’s been everything has been shaken up a little bit. And everything that we thought, you know, again, not to diminish the story, but that you went through everything that we thought was safe and secure. And normal is no longer from people dying, like friends, families, loved ones to the job that you’ve had for 20 years being ripped out from under you and you being furloughed, right? So these are all things that have happened over the past year and a half. But let’s so these are these are the people that hopefully will take a little bit of my goodness, if she can go through this with a 1% and still come out in this way. Then how can I apply these Thanks to my life. But let’s, let’s keep going on your story before we start to teach out some some, some lessons for people.

 

Amberly Lago  10:06

Well, and I’m glad you brought up about the jobs and stuff because yeah, that is that’s really scary. I mean, I was out of work for a year and a half, and I had $2.9 million worth of medical expenses. We had a lien on our house, I was the main breadwinner for the family. And I had always had a savings in case of emergency. And we went through that savings so quick. And, and I thought, all our member laying in the hospital bed and in the house in my house, because I couldn’t make it up the up and down the stairs. And I had a friend that I worked with that she came over and she goes, and thank goodness, I had a fitness business where I had clients, but I also had trainers that worked with me. And so I had a fitness business route taught trainers how to become trainers, and they worked for me. So they were able to keep my business going a little bit. But me as far as being on the floor with people and sessions, I was out of work. And remember this friend came over she goes, what are you going to do now? Can’t be a trainer, and I just burst into tears. And I think a lot of questions like that will What do I do now? And I’m here to say, you can do any thing that you set your heart and your mind out to do and accomplish. And you’re never too old. You’re never too young. You’re never too dumb. You’re not I mean, if if you have a strong enough why you can get through almost anyhow.

 

Scott D Clary  11:39

And is that what and you just didn’t wake up one day and just come to this realization this is probably over months, years that you figured out that you need to have this why? So walk me through even the psychological state of you realizing that you are never going to really work in the same capacity or doing the exact same thing as you did before. How did you overcome that? What were some of the steps that you took to just not just go down this really dark path that I think a lot of people would probably go down?

 

Amberly Lago  12:09

Well, I did go down that dark. To be really stubborn. I’m so stubborn, I’m like, to hell with that I can’t be a trainer watch me like I’m I, at some of my most motivating moments have been when people told me I can’t do something like I was so excited to be released from the hospital. And one of the last things a doctor told me, not not with a beat up doctor, he was a pulmonary doctor, he said, I said I can’t wait to get home and run again. And train clients like those were my lists, like I had a list of things to do that brought me joy. And he said, Well, I don’t know if you’ll ever run again. And you’ll never wear shorts, again, with all the scars that you have, because my leg is completely scarred up. It’s deformed you know, my ankles fused. I’ve got a metal rod.

 

Scott D Clary  13:00

You also own it, though, I want to talk about that in a bit. But you own it. Now I see it.

 

Amberly Lago  13:04

Thank you took me a while to on that, because I had a lot of shame. And but I was determined to get back to working with the I love working with people I’ve been at I started teaching dance when I was 13. And I transitioned that into fitness, and teaching, you know, clients and classes and that sort. And so I thought, at this point, I needed my clients more than they needed me. And I think that when you’re going through something really hard, that it’s so important to have a purpose or reason to get out of bed. And it doesn’t have to be a client or a job. It can be as something as simple as you have a dog that needs to go for a walk, you have a child that you know, needs you to be their mom, whatever it may be. Maybe it’s you have a garden and you need to water your garden, but there’s some sort of purpose that helps you that sparks that sparks a little fire under you that gets you out of bed because I was really in a place where pure I had survived this horrific accident only to when I couldn’t get out of pain. And I’m telling you Scott, I was trying everything to get out of pain. I had a spinal stimulator where they put metal leads in your back the nerve disease I have is ranked highest on the pain scale. And it’s dubbed the suicide disease because there’s no known cure and you’re just in pain all the time. And so I was trying everything in anything and I was always thought, well, if you work hard enough at something and you just keep pushing through the pain, then everything’s okay. Well, I learned the hard way that you can’t just keep pushing through and not acknowledging the pain. And that goes for whether it’s physical pain or any kind of pain, any kind of feelings we have to let those feelings rise up to the surface or else they come out and everything we do in life. They come out in our relationships in our career in the way we love and the way that we lead. And so I had never dealt with a lot of emotions. And that took me down. I mean, I went from being this athlete and healthy to when nothing was working for the pain, and I was on 73 homeopathic pills and 11 different prescriptions a day. And none of it was working. And so I remember having a glass of wine and gone, ah, well, this kind of helps, it helps me step down the pain, the feelings of being inadequate the shame. That’s a dangerous path. Yeah. And it worked until it didn’t. And, and luckily, it took me down. And it took me down fast. And I had a moment where I think we all have this light inside of us, and it never goes out. But mine was barely a flicker. And it was just enough to give me the courage to ask for help. So I would say anybody that’s struggling in any area of their life, sometimes you feel like you’re alone, like you’re the only one that no one would understand. Maybe you get caught up in your ego like I did, and you’re like, oh, I don’t want to admit that I’m in pain, or I can’t do something. But when you want something, and I think there’s a gift and desperation and I was desperate to get my life back, I wanted more out of life, I wanted to be the mom that my kids deserved. I wanted to be the wife that my husband married. And so I prayed to God, ask God for help. And so whether you believe in a higher power, or Buddha, God, nature, whatever, anything bigger than yourself, know that you’re never alone. There’s always something bigger than you that can help guide you and support you. But it really transformed my life when I took a good hard look at what was going on. And I think that’s what we have to do is stop, you know, take the blinders off, really accept what’s going on in our life, take accountability for it, then have the willingness and the courage to ask for help, which was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Now, it’s easy for me. Now, I’m just like, I don’t know how to do this. I don’t want to do it alone. I don’t think we’re meant to do things alone. I think that we’re, as humans were meant to connect and support and love each other. And so if you’re struggling with anything in your life, I think the first thing to do would be to take a look at that and ask for help. Ask for help from somebody who you trust, or maybe somebody that you know, has already been through something and they’ve gotten through the other side of it. Because that was transformative for me when I actually in humbling to ask for help.

 

Scott D Clary  17:47

I just want to take a second and thank the sponsor of today’s episode, HubSpot. HubSpot is a CRM platform that is easy to implement, and is even easier to get your team to adopt and ask anybody that’s implemented new technology in a company, the biggest issue is not finding it or buying it, it’s getting your team and your company to actually use it and adopt it. And when it’s a piece, like a CRM, one of the most critical pieces of your business infrastructure and your tech stack, if people don’t adopt it and use it, that means you’re getting incomplete data, you’re getting missing data, you’re getting garbage data, it could impact quite literally everybody in your company, as well as it could negatively impact your customers and your revenue. So how does HubSpot solve for this with their CRM platform, there’s two components that they focus on that allow for organizational wide adoption. This is the contact timeline as well as the mobile app. So the contact timeline gives a historical context for all of the data that is associated with a certain contact in the CRM. That means that anybody across the organization can see all the actions and all the interactions that have taken place against that particular contact. You can also use that timeline to make calls to these contacts, enroll them in sequences, put them into marketing or sales campaigns, schedule a meeting open tickets, the historical timeline makes it easy to take action as well as to track the action that’s been taken against all of your contacts. And it’s not a pain to enter the information, which means that it doesn’t take somebody a long time to put in great data, which can again positively impact your whole company. The second piece is the access from anywhere meaning if I have a phone and I’m on the road, the world’s opening up a little bit more now people are traveling again, I can use the HubSpot app to access my CRM anywhere on the go on the fly doesn’t matter. So I have complete access to the CRM. I have access to my spreadsheets, my calendars, my notebooks, all of my contacts. I can send messages across my team with the HubSpot keyboard. I can access my contacts, call them through the HubSpot app. I can take quick notes. I can take contact information. I can all log it into my HubSpot app so that I can pull it up later on my desktop when I’m back at home. It’s simple. It’s intuitive, it’s meant to make it Easy frictionless so that your team sees the value in properly using the CRM to the fullest of its capabilities and gives them the tools and the tack to allow them to do it without spending too much time and causing them more headache. The best thing about HubSpot is that it can be set up for any size of business and it will scale with you. If you’re just starting out, you can take advantage of certain features. And then as you scale your business, you’ll notice that HubSpot will support almost anything you need as you grow. So if you do want to learn how to scale your business without scaling complexity, go to hubspot.com. I just want to take a second and thank the sponsor of today’s episode. Manly bands. Listen guys, for your better halves entire life. They’ve been thinking of the perfect ring, the cut the clarity, the shape of the diamond, whatever it may be, a lot of thought goes into her ring less thought goes into our ring. And I partnered up with manly bands because I’ve actually never found a company that is entirely focused on creating bands for men. 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Amberly Lago  22:55

Well, I will say the first person I reached out to well, I’ve asked for help in, in business and asked for help in my personal life when I was trying to get sober asked help from a client, which was very humbling. Because here I was her fitness trainer and I knew that she had overcome or recovering alcoholic. So I thought well, she will know what to do. And she’s like, Yeah, I’m gonna help you and take you to a meeting or recovery meeting. And I didn’t hear back from her for a week. And the only reason I share that is because sometimes we ask for help. And the people that we ask, maybe they just aren’t able to help us at that moment. So it’s really up to us to be willing to help ourselves and not depend on someone to help us it’s great to have help. So after that, I was like, No, I’m gonna die. If I don’t, I mean, I wanted to die. But I was just too scared to die. And if that even makes, I don’t know if that makes sense. But I knew that I this was a live or die situation like either I was going to get help, or I was not live. And so I googled recovery groups, and I found the first available recovery group that I could go to that my husband wouldn’t have to know about. And my daughters would be in school because I hid a lot of my drinking from from everybody. I didn’t want anybody to know. And so that really helped me. But in business, I’ve always asked for help. I remember you know, honestly four years ago, I didn’t even own a computer so technology, writing a book starting my own podcast, building a business online having a mastermind online. That’s truly a miracle that that’s why you know, I had such a strong why that I had to go. You know, I remember asking my help I got asked to speak at This inspired series by Lorna Jane. And they wanted me to send them a headshot. And I didn’t even know how to attach a picture. I borrowed my husband’s computer. And I was like, Honey, I don’t know how to attach a picture to an email, can you help me? And he was like, ah, what do you need again, and I was like, I just burst into tears. And I was like, I will figure it out. I’m going to the Apple store and I went, I bought myself a computer, a signed up, take class. And in that class, I raised my hand over and over and over, and the gas stopped the class. And he’s like, I have to tell you something. I’ve never taught a class where someone has been, like you and not embarrassed to ask so many questions. Some are, which are very basic. And I’m like, I know, I don’t know how to do this. And I really need to learn how to do it, because I have a message that I want to share or have an impact that I want to make. And so I’m still learning, you know, I learn every day. And sometimes it’s hard. And I think through COVID, a lot of us have been forced to either learn and grow or stay stuck. And I’m here to say, if you want more out of life, there is a way if I can write a book that became a best seller. And the only reason I’m sharing that is because I had so many people like oh, you write a book, you’re the fitness girl. You can never write a book, you don’t even own a computer. And I think it’s really important when you want to do something, stop asking people who have never done it before, that everybody’s got their opinion, and that’s fine. But go to someone who can give you good counsel. And that’s why I think it’s really important to have a mentor or a coach be involved in a mastermind, because when you go to someone who’s already done it before, they’re not gonna say, oh, yeah, right, what you can’t do that, they’re gonna,

 

Scott D Clary  26:52

they’re gonna get excited for you.

 

Amberly Lago  26:54

They’re gonna say, You know what, that’s awesome. This is what you need to do this, this and this, and that from experience, you know, and so I think it’s really important. And so, yeah, I’ve asked for help from in my personal life, for my marriage, you know, it was a lot I didn’t, this isn’t just my story, this is our story. He went to the hospital with me, every single time through 34 surgeries. Now, by the end by like, surgery, 30, he would like drop me off and say, I’ll pick you up later, he’s helped slow down the car and dropped me off. But you know, he’s been alongside me. And so I think it’s important to ask for help in, in every way in every aspect of your life, and especially as an entrepreneur.

 

Scott D Clary  27:42

How did you pivot your entire career from your teaching? And maybe it’s the fitness personality of wanting to help people be better? But how did you think to pivot your career when you’re at the lowest point in your life, and turn yourself into somebody that’s helping other people when you’re still struggling internally, mentally, physically? Why would that be the place that you would go? Because it seems to me like that’s so far from if I was to be like, I just need to find a way to make money. I don’t want to put myself out into the world. Like, I’m just thinking through the de facto how I would react, which is probably not the best way. So you put yourself out. Now you’re doing all these things?

 

Amberly Lago  28:22

Well, you know, that’s such a great question. And I think that I feel very blessed that I knew that movement moves your mood, and it releases endorphins, and it makes you feel good movement, those endorphins combat pain. And so even when I was in the hospital, the doctors thought I was crazy. And that I am, you know, that’s my loving term of endearment that my husband calls me as crazy and I kind of like it. But I told the doctors I said, I need to get a full up bar installed over the bed and I need some dumbbells and they’re like, Okay, I knew that if I could keep moving however, I could not that I was in there trying to get muscles. I was just doing that because it made me feel productive. It made me feel good. Like I was moving forward. And I thought how can I still be of service to people while I’m in the hospital bed. And so I was setting up exercise programs for people to do on their own. I was even given the nurses in the hospital exercise advice. Once they knew I was a trainer. They would come in my room and they’re like, pay girl What can I do to get my booty up like, like they it was it made me feel good. And I think one of the things that has really been a blessing to my life in my life is being of service because it’s easy to get in that victim mentality and feel like a victim. But you have the ability and the choice to be the victor of your life and when you’re of service. It makes you feel it gets you out. It puts you in the driver’s seat of your life and in allows you to, to do things to take action to feel better when you’re being of service to someone. And so I knew that I wanted to get back to work as a as a trainer, because that really is, is my joy. And so for anybody that’s listening, and it’s like, well, I’m struggling, and I don’t know how to reinvent myself, and I don’t know what to do, I would really suggest that really write down a list of 100 things that bring joy to you, like, just write a list, make a list of all the things that bring you joy. And then you can make little buckets in that list and think, Okay, this is the bucket, that is my adventure bucket. This is the bucket, it’s my family bucket, this is the bucket that is like what I like to do for work or whatever those buckets may be. And for me, I tried to get back to training clients, one on one on the gym floor. And one day I was at the gym, and my husband was like, Get off your leg, you’re bleeding out, and I’ve had surgery and my stitches had come open and I was bleeding across the gym floor. And like I said, I’m stubborn, it took that for me to go, Okay, I’m not really being the best to myself, and I’m not really being the best to my clients, but how can I still serve people and have that, that purpose and make an impact. And I thought, well, I can do that not be on my feet, I can be a life coach. And so that’s when I went and got certified to be a life coach. And I feel like fitness coaching and life coaching go hand in hand, because you’re you’re working it’s just a little bit different skill set. And, and one thing led to another and I really wasn’t thinking about the money, part of it, to be honest with you, yes, I needed to make money. And and thankfully that has come along. But I really focused on what brought me joy, and what, what drives what drives me. And I think that it’s important to do what you love, because times are going to be hard look, I spoke for free. When I got into speaking I spoke for free to any place that would have me in coffee shops at the Betty Ford Clinic at at, you know, networking events at online virtual summit anywhere that they would have me and I spoke for free. And now I do it. And I would do it for free. And that’s how I know I really love it. Thankfully, I do I can pay the bills now with my speaking. But one thing leads to another and it really just takes that being persistent, being consistent, but keep showing up and keep focusing on your why why are you doing what you’re doing? Because it’s really easy to get in your ego of what will people think and maybe they won’t like my message? Or maybe I’ll look like a fool? Or maybe I’m going to look stupid. i Yes, of course there’s that part of me that’s like, I don’t want to look stupid, but honestly, I’m to the point where it’s not about me. You know, yeah, there’s that part of me, that ego comes in, I’m like, Oh, I said too much or I don’t sound right, or, you know, I’ve got brain fog, because of the pain that day. And I’m a little slow in my speaking. But I think you know what, it’s not about me, it’s about the people that I serve. And if I can impact one person with my message of determination and grit and, and your ability to tap into your own resilience, because we all have that ability to tap into our resilience and thrive.

 

Scott D Clary  33:43

I would tell you, I would say I’d say one more thing to even when you think you’re at your worst, and you do have that brain fog, the ability for you to self sabotage and get in your own head is remarkable. And the perception that other people have of you is probably still incredible. Even even when you’re at your worst, and you put yourself out into the world. The fact that you’re putting yourself out into the world is just astounding to most people who can’t even imagine themselves ever doing that. So even you operating at 75% and delivering immense value is still better than you doing nothing. And I think that I think that that’s really the takeaway that I want people to understand as well.

 

Amberly Lago  34:22

Thanks. And you know, you mentioning that I mean, I appreciate your kind words so much because gosh, I can be so hard on myself I think I have that the meanest inner critic and ability to be our own cheerleader, our own best friend and so I try to nip those limiting beliefs right away and I always try to remember that just stay in my heart and stop you know, get out of my head and and just go be of service to somebody. And I think it’s important to share also too, when you do decide to share Your message with the world or your, your, your mess that you’ve turned into a blessing and your message. And I think it’s important to share from a scar and not an open wound. It took me a long time. I mean, for years, I was just healing. I wasn’t on social media I just got on social media. I think like I started my Instagram, like four years ago basically to stalk my oldest daughter. And then I don’t think I would have been able to handle some of the messages that I get like, especially on Tik Tok. I had my youngest daughter was like, Oh, Mom, you’re too old to be on tick tock. So I was like, oh, then I’m definitely getting on tick tock. And I was like, I’m gonna do a little tap dance. And so I got my tap shoes out. And I was like, Okay, I was trying to stick my foot in there, and my foots not going in. I haven’t worn tap shoes since my motorcycle accident. And she’s like, Mom, I don’t think your foots gonna fit in that shoe anymore. I’m like, Oh, it is gonna fit. I flip the camera. It’s gonna fit, I’m gonna, I’m gonna do this. And flip the camera over, we’re in the garage, and I just did a little tap dance. And I put on there first time tap dancing. I’ve had 34 surgeries, and I can’t believe I can still tap a little bit. You know, I was reading. That video got over 600,000 views. And some of the comments were like, Oh, my gosh, I was in shorts. And so my scars are showing, and some guy was like, Oh, don’t ever posted anything like this. Again, I was eating and almost threw up. Now, I could honestly laugh, it’s it was pretty funny. But, you know, years ago, when I was just getting over the shame of the way that I looked and try and you know, learning to love myself again, that would have crushed me. So I think it’s really important that when you do decide to share a message that you be really grounded and make sure that you are sharing from that scar, not an open wound, because it’s going to be hard to hear comments like that if you’re still in the middle of healing. And I’m still healing I don’t have it all figured out. And I’m not perfect. And there’s still things that I think I’ve healed from and something will trigger me and I’m like, Oh, where’d that come from? You know, I guess I need to do some work on that. But it can be brutal sometimes on social media with comments if you allow those haters to, to bring you down, but I was really upset one day with a hater. I was like a first hater comment that I got. And I was like, Oh my gosh, honey, look at this. They hate that they hate me. There’s I got a hater. And he was like, congratulations. That is awesome. It’s about Tom. You got some haters. Now, you know your message is getting out there, keep bedsit and congratulate and I was like, oh, perspective is everything.

 

Scott D Clary  37:56

Perspective is everything. Yes. Somebody who? Who now cares enough to go out of their way which means that you’ve touched a lot of people that haven’t voiced her opinion either way. Right? So good. Good on. Yeah, that’s very smart. I love that. So the second you start getting haters, you know, you’re doing something right.

 

Amberly Lago  38:14

Not always easy. Not easy. It was I remember. Oh my gosh, Scott. I was like on the doctors TV. But I was like, Oh my gosh, I can’t believe they want to have me on the doctors TV. Did this interview it was like a 10 minute interview that they edited down to like, you know, they edit how they want it to seem look, and they edit edited out the part where I talk about all the different things I’ve gone through to try to get through CRPS. And it just made it sound like I get through pain with my mindset not have this formula called the Pacer method. And I do these steps and I’m miraculously better. And the haters were coming out of the woodwork from my own community from CRPS. They were like, You’re a disgrace to the CRPS community. How dare you make make it sound like you can just use your mind to get through pain. And I’m like, these were people that didn’t really know me that didn’t know that I had gone through all these procedures and spent, you know, 1000s hundreds of 1000s of dollars on medical treatments. But I do believe that it all starts with our mindset. And at that moment, when you have a hater, it it really will make you it’s a it’s a great opportunity for you to really look at your message and believe in it more and truly know, is my message does it do I believe in it? 100% So when I started getting that people saying that you can’t get through pain with your mindset. I was like, Oh no, I believe in my man. It made me believe in our message.

 

Scott D Clary  39:53

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Amberly Lago  44:32

Well, I think that especially with everything going on right now, and here in California, we’ve got our math mandate back and times are uncertain. And just figuring out being an entrepreneur is that our work hours are different things are always changing. We usually have several different hats that we wear for a few different businesses or more. And so I think that it’s so important to work on our resilience and that’s something that we can do every single day. De and it’s something that we can do in a moment where we feel tired or we feel anxiety, or we’re starting to feel like we’re going to hit a wall. And so for me, I have something called Pacer. And it stands for perspective, acceptance, community endurance, and rest. And we talked a little bit touched on that a little bit throughout the conversation. But perspective, I think, is really the quickest and easiest way to change the way you feel about your situation. And I think that that can be in any way, whether it’s your financial situation, whether it’s you’re getting caught up on comparing yourself to someone else on social media, or how much success they have versus that what you have, or, or if you’re anxious about something, a big event that you have coming out of, I think it’s important to get grateful. And when you’re in gratitude, it’s alchemy, it changes what you don’t have into what you do have and what you can’t do, into what you can do. And just last night, I will share with you we went out on a date for our anniversary. And it’s the first time I’ve tried to put heels on now my ankles fused and and my foots deformed. But I managed to put this little heel on it’s only about that big, but I was like, I want to feel like a sexy for our anniversary. And we get home and I fell getting out the car, by the way, just to say, but I wore the heels. And I tried my best to walk the right way.

 

Scott D Clary  46:30

Okay, listen, there’s people that haven’t had accidents that fall, get out of the car wearing heels, heels. So a good

 

Amberly Lago  46:37

husband just like he just shook his head. He was like, oh, gosh, why didn’t you just wear your boots, you know, but I’m like, I’m doing it. And it’s these little small accomplishments. We do, even if we don’t do them well, that they start to build our confidence and make us feel good. But when we got home, I sat in the middle of the bathroom floor, and I was taking the strap that looked like more of a tourniquet around my swollen ankle. And I’m like, Oh, my God. And I just was looking at my leg kind of in disgust. And he goes, when I look at your leg, I say, oh my god, what a miracle. It’s a miracle. You have your leg. And Pat shifted my perspective, like, yeah, it is a miracle. I went from disgust to gratitude, real quick. And sometimes I think that if we have a hard time shifting our perspective, it’s important to surround ourselves with people that can help us do that. And in order to have resilience or any kind of transformation, leads me to the next part of Pacer, which is acceptance. And that’s sometimes easier said than done. For me, it was really hard. I was in denial about being diagnosed with a nerve disease. I had to accept that I could no longer run the way that I used to, I can run to chase after my daughter. And I did just beat her in a contest running from a stop sign to the car, she’s always competing with me. And my husband’s like, you let a little old lady beat you to the car. And I’m like, That’s right. And so I still can run. It’s not always pretty, but I can do it. But acceptance, I felt like it felt like defeat. And I had to shift my perspective on that acceptance is really your it’s freedom. It gives you the choice to take action steps to make your life the best that it can be. And when we are in acceptance, and we’re authentic, with our feelings and what we’re going through, oh my goodness, that’s when we can start to have the life that we’ve always imagined. And that’s what really changed things for me. And it led me to a community of people on Instagram in my sobriety community, you know, in my life, and I think communities, you know, is the next part of Pacer. And I think it might be the most important part of PACER because when we have community it’s powerful. And sorry if you can for the gardener, he just got here. No, I can’t. No, you’re good. Yes, the life of Ben and COVID. Right, I go home office. But community is so powerful. I felt so alone when I was going through some of the darkest moments of my life. And I can guarantee you that if you’re feeling alone right now, and you’re listening to this and you’re feeling like well, nobody understands what I’m going through. Nobody’s going to get me I don’t know where to turn. I guarantee there is somebody more than one person that’s going through exactly what you’re going through. And so, reach out, reach out to someone and you know what, that doesn’t even have to be somebody that you know, I connected to a community of CRPS warriors when I started looking at the hashtag CRPS warrior, I wanted to be connected with people that were had passion and drive. And so I think it’s really important to take a look at the people that you surround yourself with. And that doesn’t just go for the people that are in your family in your life. I know we can’t get rid of family members, but we can limit the time that we spend with them. If they’re bringing us down, or they’re not. They don’t believe in our vision or our dreams and, and that’s okay. People won’t always believe in your vision or your dream, it’s important that you do, and that you find people to connect with, that are passionate. And that’s goes for social media to somebody that you’re following brings you down, don’t follow them, follow people who are paving the way who inspire you. And because it takes a lot of endurance, and that’s the next part of PACER endurance, I think is when our grit and our passion come into play. It’s where, you know, we’re not always going to be motivated. But if we look at why we’re doing something, we focus on our Why, then, like I said before, it gets us through almost anyhow. But I think that we have to, in order to have endurance, I think it’s important to SET set up really healthy habits, and not rely on motivation, or willpower. Because let me tell you that willpower is out the door, if we are overtired if we haven’t eaten if we haven’t taken care of our health. So set up those healthy habits. And that’s why I think I’ve been able to get through COVID in a pretty graceful way. Because I have set up healthy habits, not to say it’s been easy. But because I have this strong foundation of habits of non negotiables in my life that I do, I know that I have that foundation to tap into my inner source of resilience. And which leads me to the last part that I’m horrible at, I’m going to rephrase that I’m getting better at it. Its risks and I own I when I was explaining what I do every day to be more resilient to my husband, I said, Honey, I’ve got a quick word that’s gonna help me get through every day, if I just remind myself of these things. And I’m explaining it to him. And he’s like, I get to the word, our wrist. And he’s like, You are so bullshit. Okay, I cuss on here. And I don’t usually cuss but he does. And I was like, What do you mean, he goes, You don’t rest. He goes, Yeah, you do all that other stuff, but you don’t rest. And it was really a wake up call. And I had to learn the hard way of being hospitalized after going septic from not looking at what was going on in my body and pushing and pushing. And I was good at the grid. But I think it’s so important to be resilient, we have to strategically stop sometimes and plan times to rest and recover. And however that may look like that might be taking a break after resumes. And going out in nature, taking your shoes off walking through the grass and getting grounded, taking time to play, you know, scheduling out times where you do have some time off to be creative. Like if we don’t rest, it’s hard to spark creativity when I’m rested, and I can get out there and do some of the things that I love. And I mean, I love my work. But how I can keep moving forward with my work is if I do things to take care of myself, if I do set an alarm on my phone for Okay, it’s time to shut off the devices and go to bed. The emails will wait till tomorrow, the text messages will wait till tomorrow, the social media has done for the day. And I think as an entrepreneur, with our hours being all over the place, that it’s really important to schedule out those times to rest.

 

Scott D Clary  53:55

Very, very good advice. Very good advice. And that’s one thing that I want to reiterate, you’ve used all these tools and strategies to come from such a dark place, and now you’re thriving. But many people if they just applied, an ounce of the grit that you had to go through to the business are starting or the side hustle or the project or the new job because they were laid off. I think these this same framework can be applicable to a variety of circumstances. And that’s really what I wanted to double down on and reinforce.

 

Amberly Lago  54:30

Oh, for sure. I mean, because, look, I remember you know, when I wanted to start a podcast, I had people go oh, it’s really hard to do podcast and so I just want to say first of all, what an honor it is to be here on your podcast. You’re you’re doing an amazing job. I love your podcast. It’s so successful. Oh my gosh, you’re amazing and I know what goes you know behind planning it and doing setting aside For a sad time for and, and if I didn’t love if I did not love what I did, and I didn’t have a strong why, for the reason why I do my podcast, which is to share stories of resilience and struggles to success that I think I don’t think I could do it. So I think that it’s really important to set up those habits and anything you do, whether it’s your podcast, it’s a new business, it’s going after clients, it’s so important, you have to be consistent. You know, a lot of times I go and speak at other people’s masterminds on how to build your social media, because on Instagram, I started from like, zero, I mean, we all start from zero, but I literally had nothing. And I had, you know, my book publisher was like, well, we don’t do any marketing or branding. So if you want to get your book out there, you’re going to have to do it yourself. And I’m like, holy cow, I don’t know how to do this, but I’m going to have to figure it out. So I set aside time, every morning, to make sure that I could do a post and I didn’t post and ghost, I would post and I would connect with people who commented on it. And I leave those posts that were horrible, by the way, because I was learning I didn’t know what I was doing. I leave those up on my Instagram, because I want people to see that we all start from from very little or nothing, and we just serve nothing. Yeah. And the more you are, it pays off. And it was the same for my podcast, you know, I was like, I’m going to be consistent. Every single week, I’m not going to let a week go by that I don’t release a podcast to show people that I’m showing up for them. I’m consistent, and to build that integrity and that trust because me that to me, that’s everything. Trust, integrity, your word. I mean, I’m sure you can relate to this, because I think that people from Canada are very similar from people in Texas that I grew up where your word was everything like you did things on handshake. And so that’s very important to me, my brand is important for people to know that I’m going to show up for them, I’m going to be honest with them, I’m going to keep it real. And it takes, you know, consistency. And I promise you that if you stay consistent, that it does your hard work, but you where your blessings can find you. And I just found out I didn’t pay attention to numbers or any of that I didn’t even know how to launch a book properly. And I got to the bestseller list. My book on Amazon was right beside Wayne Dyer, Dr. Wayne Dyer and Brene Brown, who are my two favorites. I didn’t pay attention to downloads or numbers or anything I just kept putting, focusing on my message focusing on my purpose. My podcast got to be my girlfriend sent me a link and a screenshot my podcast True Grit and Grace was top 1% on Apple, I’m like, holy cow. I know I’m not the best podcast, but I’m consistent in it that is showing up that that is is not necessarily success is not necessarily the talent or the title or the most money it is grit. And I promise you if you just keep showing up and you stay consistent, and it’s gonna be hard, and it’s gonna suck at first especially, you know, I’m like, Have I had no technical skills whatsoever. And I just learned, I learned from my mistakes. I switched my failures into transformed failures into Okay, well, what’s this teaching me? If I was, you know, rejected, I thought, well, I’m being redirected. And so just keep showing up. And I tell you, it pays off. Amazing.

 

Scott D Clary  58:58

I wanted to I have two more questions just from your story. And then I want to do some rapid fire. I also want to be respectful of your time as well. And to be honest, most people listen for about an hour. So we’ll try and try and start to wrap it up. But this has been absolutely amazing. It’s been absolutely amazing. No, it’s been just, it’s been non stop just just inspiring messages. And I really appreciate I really appreciate what you speak about. And I want to just I want to ask one more question about your book, actually. Title is two words, grit and grace. Grit makes sense. He’s speaking about grit. Why grace? What does that mean to you? Why is that important?

 

Amberly Lago  59:40

Oh, grace is a huge part of my journey because number one, it was by the grace of God that I’m sober. It was learning to give myself Grace being so hard on myself and hating the way I looked and painting the My leg was deformed and scarred and didn’t work properly and gave me so much pain. All of that shifted, when I gave myself some grace. And I started to look at my leg as Wow, it’s a miracle. This is the leg that had a 1% chance and doctor saved it. And I can walk when I was told I’d be in a wheelchair forever. So I think it’s important to give ourselves grace, and the grace that my husband has given me through this wild journey of ups and downs, and, you know, me spiraling into depression and get climbing my way out of that. And so, grace is through the journey is really important. I think we can all have that inner critic that kind of beat us up. And it’s so important to just in some moments, go, you know, what, let it go for me, I’m like, let go, let God and but yes, it’s grit and grace. Amazing.

 

Scott D Clary  1:01:02

And And my last question is, how are you doing today? Are you still in pain? How is how is Amberley? How is life?

 

Amberly Lago  1:01:13

Thank goodness work, or from the, from the waist up video on because No, I’m still in pain. I still have my leg, my shoe, my shoe is off today. Yeah, it’s a little swollen and hurt. And but you know, I have managed ways of getting through those moments. And that starts with a morning ritual of getting grounded with a gratitude list. I text my sponsor in the morning, and we share what we’re grateful for with each other. I do some reading every morning, and I write out my intentions. And then I make a phone call to somebody. And it doesn’t have to be a long phone call this morning phone call was about an hour, it was a lot. But when you can do those things, it really shifts your perspective. And it shows you you know what a miracle it is, I could easily go and be depressed because I’m in pain, or that my ankle swollen hurts today. But instead I’m like, Oh, my goodness, you’re we’re at the top of my gratitude list today that I had this opportunity to talk with you and be on your show. And so I think it’s important to start every day and end every day, with some gratitude.

 

Scott D Clary  1:02:21

Amazing. And that’s it. That’s it. It’s, I guess, just incredible that as you just progress in your life, like people have to realize, like it’s not over. It’s not over for you. So when you go check out Amberley and you see the book, and the podcast, and the social and you listen to this, like this is all still live in real time dealing with the effects of of what happened. And that’s, that’s incredible. It’s not like, you know, one day you wake up perfect. And then all of a sudden, oh, now I can start a podcast. Now. I can write a book. There’s all been throughout.

 

Amberly Lago  1:02:55

Yeah, I’m glad you said that. I mean, it’s start, just start and you know, everything I’ve done, I didn’t feel ready. I didn’t feel ready at all. When I did my TED talk. I was scared to death. Yeah, I had imposter syndrome. And then I thought, well, this isn’t about me. This is about the people that I serve. And so just started when that I don’t know, if you ever feel ready, I think it’s important to just start and you’ll learn along the way.

 

Scott D Clary  1:03:24

Agreed. Okay. I’m going to get tell everybody where they can connect with you, your socials, your website where they can get your book where they can check out your podcast, and I’m going to do some rapid fire questions. Where do people go?

 

Amberly Lago  1:03:36

Thank you so much, Scott. Well, you know, we’ve talked about the Pacer method. And I have a free downloadable playbook where they can get more information on that if you just text the word, Britt. So text GRI t 28182147378. Again, that’s 818-214-7378. And that’s me texting back. You can get your playbook through that. But that’s me texting back. So it might take me a minute but it because I really like to connect so you can just reach out. Tell me you heard the show Scott’s show and and I’d love to connect, you can find other downloadable resource resources at Amberley lago.com. And some of our crazy shenanigans behind the scenes. Crazy life of me and my family, on Instagram at Amberley Lago motivation and, you know, reach out, screenshot this and tag me and Scott so we can see in our stories and I can say things. Amazing.

 

Scott D Clary  1:04:41

All right, perfect. Okay, so this is I have these questions that I asked everybody. Now the first question, I feel like it’s going to ask you anyways, it seems like it’s gonna be a little bit of a silly question. The first question is biggest challenge you’ve experienced in your career. So I know that I feel like we already have the answer, but Go ahead.

 

Amberly Lago  1:05:01

Well, you know what, I’ll just keep it current. Since we’ve, we’ve talked about other stuff, I think the biggest challenge I’ve experienced in my career as an entrepreneur, when you grow, you want to delegate things out. And it’s the trust is the most important thing for me. And I think what I’ve learned the hard way, is I’ve been really trusting and had some people on my team and it didn’t work out. And if somebody drops the ball, sometimes the whole production doesn’t work out the way that it should, or it just adds more stress. So I think that’s tough. As an entrepreneur, it’s like to be able to have a good team, you really have to trust the people on your team. And so that’s the most important thing for me, that’s been a challenge. That’s been kind of a disappointment that, but how

 

Scott D Clary  1:05:50

do you how do you fix that? How do you find the right people? What’s it? What’s the fix for that?

 

Amberly Lago  1:05:54

Um, I think the fix for that, for me has been to slow down to ask more questions, to, to look at how I can have better communication, and to always check references, check the references, and sometimes even that it doesn’t go as well. But I think it’s really important to look at your part in it. So for me, the first thing I do is I look at my part in it. How could I’ve been a better leader? Where did I go wrong? Where did I miss communicate? What did I do? What can I do next, to make sure this doesn’t happen again?

 

Scott D Clary  1:06:31

If you had to choose one person, or multiple people in your life, personal or professional, that had a major impact, what did they teach you? And who is that person?

 

Amberly Lago  1:06:40

I would say, my dance instructor growing up, you know, I started dancing with her when I was three years old. And she was always really hard on me. And I mean, harder than the other kids and I found out it’s because she had a lot of, she had faith in me that I was going to do something someday. And so she really pushed me. But she taught me more than just dance. I learned how to run a business through her learned lessons in life, how to show up. And one of the most important lessons that she taught me was it didn’t matter what’s going on in your life. I remember she told me I was a dance instructor. And she said, I don’t care what’s going on in your life. She goes, when it’s time to teach that class, you put the needle on the record, you turn around, and you teach your class with a smile on your face. And I was like, oh, and putting the needle on the record that just shows how old I am. Because nobody even uses reference anymore. But that’s what I was taught. It wasn’t like, go teach a class and be mopey and have a pity party and say how rough life is. It’s like, when you’re a leader, your team doesn’t want to hear about all that stuff. They want they Yeah, we have they want a leader through those things. But how can you switch it to positivity? How can you think more positive? How can you inspire positivity for your team? I love that.

 

Scott D Clary  1:08:11

That’s That’s good advice. Very good advice. source could be a book a podcast and audible, something that you’d recommend people go check out.

 

Amberly Lago  1:08:23

Definitely check out this podcast, y’all check it.

 

Scott D Clary  1:08:27

That’s a cop, my podcast, the cop out your podcast, the cop out has to be another’s.

 

Amberly Lago  1:08:33

I love the book. I love the book. The Four Agreements is been a book that I love. Of course, I have a book on my desk right now I’ve got a stack of books, if you could see my room right now then go all the way from four all the way up to the ceiling just about then I have this book on my desk right now, because I’m revisiting my steps through sobriety and it’s called a women’s way through 12 steps. I think 12 steps are a great way to live a good life didn’t matter if you have addiction problems. I think it’s just a really good program if you’re on spiritual journey, especially. So yeah, that’s what helps me but I love to read I think at the top of my list of favorite things to do would be to have some quiet time to read. Yeah, just reset.

 

Scott D Clary  1:09:23

Amazing. If you could tell your 20 year old self one thing what would that be?

 

Amberly Lago  1:09:30

Trust your gut. I think that you know, being sexually abused as a child and having some one that you trusted. Tell you that no, this is the right thing. This is your crazy. This is what dads do. It really makes you question your gut and what’s right or wrong. And I tell you what, my gut has never been wrong and I think that our gut you know Hearts might say something our heads say a lot, but our guts never lie. So listen to your gut, follow your heart, stay on your path. Celebrate your small victories along the way.

 

Scott D Clary  1:10:14

Amazing. And then last question, what does success mean to you?

 

Amberly Lago  1:10:18

All success means being the ability to do the things that you love, and be with the people that you love. And that’s really pretty simple. I think that being able to do things you love and be with people you love success to me

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